that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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