I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
