yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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