the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
