So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I could fuck to npr.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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