just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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