I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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