This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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