when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize