I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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