I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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