this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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