I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
