I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
