I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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