we have officially lost it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
