I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
