Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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