We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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