THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
