when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
