I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
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He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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