Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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