I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
be right there i have to get my cape
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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