The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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