So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
