Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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