Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
