Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
