i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize