All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize