They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
