we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
