you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
