The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
