scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
