Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
