Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
