dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
