Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
