I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
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My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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