we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize