So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
