Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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