At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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