I don't think brook has ever known best
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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