haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
