I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
