she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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