Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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