It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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