i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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