my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You ate ashes out of my bong
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
