Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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