theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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