He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
