This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
