TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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