i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
