he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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